Tell me why
by Mademoiselle le Chat
Summary: Life changes in a matter of minutes. Shadouge T just to be sure (and a bad summary)
1. Nothing is fair in war and love

_**Hello, everyone!**_

 _ **This is my first Sonic fanfiction and it's a Shadouge. I really hope you like it. Both chapters are based on songs. This one is "Nothing is fair in love and war" and also "Tell me why" by Three Days Grace. And nope, they're not songfics. I just decided to inspire myself with them.**_

 _ **And I think it's all I have to say.**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: Sonic the Hedgehog and its characters belong to SEGA. I do this for mere fun.**_

* * *

Darkness is just a word to describe the mess I'm in. My whole life has been a road full of obstacles and lethal enemies. Being immortal is not a synonym of being happy. Not even calm. I've seen a lot of people die, most of them because of me. But that's the way wars work. You cannot decide what you could do; every time you are in a battle, you have to kill in order to be alive.

Today is one of these days. Even if I know I'm far more powerful than the others, I never take anything for granted. I hate to be arrogant as Faker. Sometimes power and strength are not the key to win. You need strategy. I can see the hordes of aliens coming through. I see Faker and his friends getting ready to fight. I also see Rouge by my side; she is, as always, thinking of something else to distract her attention of the imminent massacre we're facing.

"Don't overdo yourself" She says. I look at her, she smirks; "let us do something. It is boring when you do all by yourself".

I grin as I hear her words. I nod and we run to them. I immediately attack and start tearing apart some aliens. I just hate them. Last time we were close to annihilation and this time I won't let them destroy this place. I keep doing this without thinking. They hit me once, I hit them twice. Blood comes out from my lip, but it's just a simple wound.

Suddenly, the place starts to get filled with more robots and soldiers. I can see the ship getting closer. The ones we were fighting were just mere peons. A blast in my left arm makes me realize they were trying to tire us and kill us in the next attack. All of us attack and the number of wounds in our bodies increases. I look for the captain or their leader; he's nowhere to be seen. I can feel my arm go limp. I can hear the screams of my partners, I need to do something.

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, what's going on, Shads?" Rouge asked me when I dropped the glass of water I had in my hand._

 _"_ _Nothing, I was just… thinking" I said trying to remain expressionless. The less we needed in that moment was panic. "I think we should get going now" I paid for everything and we left._

 _It was one of those days when you feel like doing nothing. We had already finished our mission and Rouge wanted to celebrate. I'm not fond of going out, specially to crowded places. But she convinced me, as she always do. However, I felt a tingle sensation in my head. It was like feeling Black doom coming back. But I had killed him, right?_

 _"_ _Are you having a bad feeling?" She finally asked grabbing my arm, I looked at her. Since when she was able to read my mind?_

 _"_ _I think Black Doom is coming back. Or at least, the Black Arms. I can feel it" I answered and she nodded as she was understanding what I was saying. "I think we should be prepared"._

 _"_ _Yeah, we should. I hope it just remains as a bad feeling. Maybe you just need to sleep a little" Rouge looked at me and smiled. I have to admit that her smiles make me feel better._

* * *

Unfortunately, I was right and everything became a mess. Now I'm trying to defeat these aliens and make everything good again. I hate this whole situation. I hate that world never remains at peace. It seems like my whole past is always chasing me and I'd never be able to get away with it.

Silence spreads. No one is yelling, no one is laughing. I have to find out why. This is not a good signal. I look everywhere and find nothing. The whole world seems paralyzed. And as I thought, I find a being resembling Black Doom.

"Shadow the Hedgehog, this is the first time you and I met, but I know about you" he said with an arrogant tone. "You had your chance to rule the world with us. But now, you'll watch it burn and then you'll die with your precious friends".

I say nothing, I just attack. I have no time nor the mood to waste it in useless conversations. He defends himself very well. I feel blood coming out of my wounded arm. I use several attacks, and I see how I hurt him. I'm close to defeating him.

I feel power running through my veins. That means there's a chaos emerald near. I throw him a chaos spear and run away looking for it. I can see it, Rouge has it. She is fighting some robots.

"I thought you'd never come for it" She said grinning. She jumped and landed by my side. "Take, don't say I never help you"

"I've never said that" I respond not knowing what she means with that.

"Forget it. It's time to finish this" Rouge says as she runs to continue fighting. She doesn't seem much wounded, but there's something odd about her behavior.

That's it. With the chaos emerald in hand, I proceed to transform into my super form. The power makes me feel complete again. My wounds heal immediately. I'm ready to end this once for all.

* * *

 _"_ _Hey, Shadow" Faker said as he arrived to Rouge's flat. I hate when he does that. I mean, it is my free time, I don't want to see him._

 _"_ _Sonic" I simply said._

 _"_ _You know, I wanted to ask you something" He started and sat somewhere near me. I looked at him and nodded; "After all this time, are you happy with your life?"_

 _"_ _What?"_

 _"_ _Yeah. You are immortal and that stuff. You have a "mysterious" power" he remarked with his fingers; "and you're always grumpy. Are you really happy?"_

 _"_ _You just came to ask me that?" I said standing up. He looked at me a little bit concerned._

 _"_ _Well… sort of. I also wanted to ask you if you would come to the party Amy is making. But that's just odd"_

 _"_ _I'm ok with my life, happy? And no, I'm not going. You know I don't like that kind of events"_

 _"_ _Rouge is coming" He teased_

 _"_ _What about it?" I asked_

 _"_ _What do you think? You have to give yourself a chance to love" He said and grinned. I could feel hate flowing in my veins._

 _"_ _I think you're not the right person to talk about it, you know? Besides, I've already told you. I don't want to go. Not even if she's going to be there." I said firmly and lead him to the door; "And please, never mention again that foolish idea about love."_

 _"_ _Hey! Shadow, give it a tr…" I closed the door on his face. Yeah, it was rude, but enough is enough._

 _I sat again and looked at the ceiling. She wasn't there. She must have been somewhere stealing jewels or pampering herself. I never asked her. It was getting into her life and we agreed not to do that. Or at least that was what I used to do._

* * *

After what looked like an eternity, and with Faker's help, I finally defeated the aliens. We are all wounded. Some have died, but I'm not sure who. I just overheard that. Maybe the soldiers that came with us. After all, humans are weak.

I think with this we would be at peace for some time. Back to the nothingness of life. Just going to boring missions with Rouge and Omega, Faker showing up in the flat. Amy chasing him… Just life. Calm life. Maybe, I should give a try to be more open. Maybe I'd try to be a friend. _Or maybe I'd give a try to my feelings._ I suddenly stop. I shouldn't. Life hates me. _But this time would be different_.

* * *

 _"_ _Shadow, where are you?" Rouge called me. I was in my bedroom just lying on my bed. I could hear her footsteps coming closer. She entered into the room and I looked at her. She was wearing a black dress, it wasn't one of her sexy dresses, and it looked like a comfortable dress. "Hey, wanna do something? What about going out?"_

 _"_ _Not really, thanks" I muttered and rolled on the bed. I was feeling tired and the last thing I wanted was to go._

 _"_ _Well, do you mind if I stay here with you?" She said with doubt. I looked at her again and noticed that she was not happy. She was moody. I rolled again and patted the bed. She laid next to me and started at the ceiling._

 _"_ _What happened? Some of your boyfriends broke up with you?" I asked facing the wall, she grunted. "Really? Maybe Knuckles did something to bother you?"_

 _I had to admit that I hated the whole Knuckles thing. For years it was something I heard a lot, but suddenly it stopped. Which was actually good. Somehow I felt like she was wasting her time with that. And none of her random boyfriends were good enough for her. I can't understand why she picked them. But it had been a while since she was single. That's why teasing her felt right. She was the only one I could feel free to do that._

 _"_ _No, you know I'm not interested in him anymore" she said hoarsely; "I just don't feel in the mood. I wanted to spend a relaxing day. That's all. Maybe I wanted to go out, but you are, as always, a pain in the ass and don't want to go with me"._

 _"_ _Hey, you know that you are a grown up person. You can go outside by yourself."_

 _"_ _Forget it, Shadow. You wouldn't understand" She said and let out a sigh. "Do you mind if I take a nap here?"_

 _"_ _Not at all, I was thinking of doing the same" I answered and faced her. She was right in front of me. When she rolled to her side? Rouge looked at me right in the eyes. Her blue eyes peered inside of my soul. "Well, have a nice sleep" I said and rolled again feeling my hear thumping in my chest._

 _"_ _You too, Shadow. You too." She whispered._

* * *

I walk around to look for everyone. They are quickly trying to heal the wounded. I look for Rouge and I can't find her. I ask all I'm meeting, but they don't know where she is. I hear a scream. It's her. I run to where I heard the scream and see her on the floor in a pool of blood.


	2. My last breath

**_This fanfic was meant to be a two-shot, which means that this is the last chapter. Thank you for following and reading :) As I said before, this is my first Sonic fanfiction and I was nervous about posting it. I really hope you like it. I know it's a little tragic, but I promise I'll write something less dramatic next time :3_**

 _ **This one is based on My last breath by Evanescence; if you want to be in the mood, I recomend you to play it.**_

 _ **Enjoy the reading.**_

* * *

I felt a sharp pain in my back. I turned and saw one of the aliens stabbing me. I attacked him, but stabbed me once again. Blood is coming out at a fast pace. I can't barely stand. I finally kill him and I fall limp to the floor. Damn, how could I be so careless? I can't feel my legs, I feel how life is draining out.

I close my eyes and I cough some blood. I can't even make any sound or hear clearly, my body is trying desperately to survive. I can feel someone getting closer, maybe it's another alien; I have to kill it. However, it's Shadow. I can't help but feel some tears coming out my eyes. I don't want him to see me like this. Suddenly, I feel his embrace: it's strong, but yet careful. I know I'm going to die. Death is not as bad as people say. I'll could finally rest. But… I just want to say goodbye to him. If I knew that I was going to die today, I would tell him how I feel about him.

* * *

 _"_ _Another mission, another triumph" I said as I opened a bottle of wine. Shadow was staying at my flat, I think I'm so used to him being there that I don't mind about it. He just looked at me and shrugged "Want some?" I said pouring it in a glass. He nodded, even if he seemed not to be sure about it. I gave him a glass and I raised mine. "Cheers!"_

 _"_ _Why do you always do this?" Shadow asked giving a sip to his glass._

 _"_ _Well, maybe because it relaxes me. Maybe because I'm thankful that we made it alive… I don't know. Maybe I'm just a drunken person and it's the best way to cover it up" I smirked and he grunted._

 _"_ _Maybe is the last one"_

 _"_ _Come on, don't tell me you don't feel like celebrating this"_

 _"_ _No, it's my job. There's nothing to celebrate. However, I think I'd like to drink something with you" He said and then coughed. "As comrades that we are"._

 _That was the closest to a compliment. For a moment, I even thought that would mean that I'm something more than just his comrade. I'm not sure if he even sees me as a friend. But it's all my fault. I shouldn't try to get close to him. I know that he feels that life hates him. He is afraid of losing someone else. Maria left a big hole inside his heart and no one can fill it. I know it very well. But sometimes I'd like to be the one who help him to be happy._

 _"_ _You know, for me you're more than just my comrade" I dared to say. He looked at me with concern. "No, no that" I chuckled; "You're my friend. I can even say you're my best friend." I said trying to cover up what I really meant._

 _"_ _Well, thank you. You are also my friend" He answered sipping more wine._

 _"_ _Yeah, friends it's cool" I said and poured more wine in my glass._

 _After an hour, the bottle was empty. I drank most of the content, but I can say that I left Shadow a little bit tipsy. That was really funny._

 _"_ _You know?" He said. He was opening up and I thanked the alcohol for it. "From all the women around here, you are the most beautiful. Trust me. But you're not shallow as the others. You're strong, you have the guts to do incredible things… You're great Rouge" He smirked. I sat closer to him._

 _"_ _Thank you. I also think that you're handsome and interesting" I said and leaned my head on his shoulder._

 _"_ _Yes, I am" He said and chuckled. Was it coming from him? Can he even laugh? Oh, dear alcohol, thank you very much!_

 _I dared to get closer. He didn't move or say anything. He just looked at me with his crimson eyes. I locked my lips to his. They tasted like the wine we just drank. I felt something tingling inside of me. I don't know if he was feeling the same, but I had to enjoy it. He held me closer and deepened the kiss. I parted to get some air and we looked at each other. Confusion was written all over our faces and the moment I was going to say something, he passed out. Damn, alcohol! You're great and all, but did you really have to make him pass out?_

 _Next morning, he remembered nothing, which left us just as we were before. Comrades… friends. Just two people living in the same house._

* * *

If dying wasn't so painful, I'd even dare to kiss him again. But I can't barely make any sound. Why do I have to die so soon? Even more, why do I have to die like this? I'm upset at how things ended up. But it's the time to be brave and, at least let him know.

"Shadow?" I whisper, I hope he can hear me. I see him moving his lips. "Sorry for this. I was so stupid. I can't be here longer, so. Thank you for everything". He says something, but I can't hear it. I try to get closer to his chest, I feel his heartbeat; it is reassuring. My fears disappear, death is near me and I'm ready to leave. "I'm not afraid of dying. I'll just close my eyes and it's done."

I can feel his warm tears falling over me. Why do we have to end like this? We're not having another winter together, like that time we were on the mountains in a mission. We were coming back and stared the white sight. So fragile and so beautiful. Of course, this means that there are not going to be more missions. I can feel my own tears rolling down my cheeks. This is really unfair. I wanted to be with him a little bit longer, at least to know if he loves me back. He holds me closer, like if it was possible, one of his hands is caressing my head; I know he's saying something, but I'm not sure what. I feel something in my head, I think it was a kiss.

"I love you, Shadow. I'm sorry" I finally say and I feel how life escapes from my body.

* * *

Shadow woke up. It had been a year since Rouge had passed away. He still felt the pain aching in his heart. He was living in her flat. Everything was just as she left it the last time. Her bedroom was like a sanctuary. Sometimes Amy or Sonic visited him. The others were afraid, not of him but to say something that would hurt him even more.

Shadow tried to kill himself twice, but his regeneration made him recover. Remorse was consuming him. There were times when he woke up and saw her there, lying by his side, smiling to him. But the hedgehog knew she wasn't real. That no matter how hard he wished, or what he would do, she wouldn't come back to him. He was alone. He had lost another dear friend.

"She wasn't just my friend" he whispered in front of the mirror. "I loved her and never told her" he said and clutched his fists.

Last time he saw her, she conveyed her feelings, but he couldn't say anything to her. She died without knowing how much he loved her. How she made his world less dark. And worst part was that he was trying to protect her from him, from the life that he was living, and the way his closest people ended up.

* * *

 _"_ _Shadow?" She barely said. Her voice was trembling. Shadow held her trying to not hurt her more._

 _"_ _I'm here, Rouge, please stay awake. Help is coming" He said with concern._

 _"_ _Sorry for this. I was so stupid. I can't be here longer, so. Thank you for everything"._

 _"_ _Don't say that. This battle was difficult. Please, remain awake" She got closer to his chest. His heartbeat was slowing down as he felt how she was fading away in his arms._

 _"_ _I'm not afraid of dying. I'll just close my eyes and it's done."_

 _He began to cry. He couldn't do anything to stop her death. He held her closer, he caressed her head feeling guilty for what was happening. He kissed her forehead as if it would brought her back to life. To cure her wounds._

 _"_ _I love you, Shadow" She whispered as life faded away._

 _"_ _Rouge?" He said with trembling voice. "Rouge, please answer me" He shook her a little; "Don't leave me, please. Come back" Shadow sobbed. He had done it just when Maria died. He cried holding her body until Sonic found him._

* * *

"Why everything I love gets taken away from me?" He growled and broke the mirror in front of him. Some drops of blood dripped into the sink. "She was my hope. Why I couldn't live a good life with her? Am I fated to be unhappy for the rest of my life?"

"Shadow, don't say that" A voice said, it was hers. He turned to see her.

"Rouge, you're dead. You're not real" He said, some tears rolling down his cheek.

"You're right. You know that I'm just part of your mind" She said.

"How? Everything I love disappears" He said angry. "You, for example"

"Join me"

"I can't, I'm immortal. I heal quickly. I tried before. I am cursed to be alive forever. To be alone. To see everyone die"

"Take off your inhibitor rings. Your energy will be drain fast. When you feel like you are empty, do it" The idea sounded tempting. But he wasn't sure if it would work.

"Rouge would never tell me that" He said sitting on the floor, looking at his hallucination.

"I'm not her, I told you. I'm just a fragment of your own mind. Just think that if you're dead, you won't miss her. And who knows? Maybe you'll find her if there's another life."

Everything Shadow the Hedgehog loved was taken away from him. But that day, he went somewhere no one else could take anything from him.

* * *

 ** _Thank you very much for reading. I hope you liked it. Please, feel free to leave a review with constructive advise :)_**

 ** _See you!_**


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